So You Just Recieved Your Baby's Diagnosis

You just left the doctor’s office. Maybe it was an anatomy scan, maybe it was your gender ultrasound. Either way, it was supposed to be an exciting day.

Your world was just turned upside down. You were told that your “perfect” baby isn’t so perfect. You found out your baby has Spina Bifida. You’re terrified. You’ve been given worst case scenario. You’re in a fog. You haven’t stopped crying. You have no idea what's in store. You might not even know what Spina Bifida is.

NICU. Surgeries. Brain abnormalities. Learning Disabilities. Brain Dead. Incontinence. Paralysis. No quality of life. Death. Abort.

This isn’t what you signed up for.

Stop. Take a breath. You can do this.

I’ll never forget diagnosis day. If I think really hard I can still remember how that ultrasound room smelled. I can remember exactly how that doctor’s voice sounded when she said “neural tube defect.” I can remember looking back up on the screen, through teary eyes, and pretending I saw what she was pointing out. I remember basically crawling into my husband’s lap when we got in the car because the sweet baby boy I had been carrying when I walked into the doctor’s office was now just a distant memory.

In that moment, in my mind, I had been given a death sentence. I didn’t want to shop for him anymore. I didn’t care about the nursery. In that moment, I was mourning a life that had not even been taken from me.

Oh, sweet Mama. If I could, I would hug you and tell you that everything is going to be ok. Don’t mourn the loss of someone who is still very much alive. Don’t let the doctor scare you into thinking that your baby is anything less than absolutely amazing.

Contrary to all the terrible, heartbreaking information the doctor just spewed at you (or if you’re anything like me, they didn’t really give you any information, but they did give the option to abort), Spina Bifida is not a death sentence.

You see, doctors tell you about all of the thing that Spina Bifida can be. They tell you the worst possible things that can happen.

They don’t tell you about the strength that’s going to ooze out of your baby as soon as you lay eyes on them. They don’t tell you about those anticipated snuggles you’re going to finally get on day three or five or your baby’s life. They don’t tell you about the tears you’re going to shed when your baby accomplishes something they said he’d never do. They don’t tell you how you’re going to feel when you see your “paralyzed” baby moving his legs, or rolling over for the first time. They don’t tell you that every tiny milestone is cause for celebration. They didn't tell you that Spina Bifida affects everyone so differently that you shouldn't make any blanket statements about it. And they certainly  no way of knowing what your baby is capable of until he's here.

Mama, your baby is amazing. Your baby is going to teach you things about yourself you never even knew you didn’t know. Your baby is still just that, your baby. Don’t let a diagnosis take that away from you.